Everyone is talking about resolutions – some say they’re bad and others are encouraging you to make them.
Who is right?
YOU. You are right (don’t you love hearing that? I know I do!) – whatever it is that gets you out of your comfort zone, into inspired action and going for your dreams is the right path to your potential being realized.
Key #1: Use the word that works for you – target, resolution, goal, something else?
Some people hate the word resolution. Others hate the word goal. Some people love them.
The key question to ask is what works for you? Personally, these days, I like the word target. I’m targeting a healthy, lean, fit body. That just feels better ot me than my goal is to have a healthy, lean, fit body.
Did you know that a heat seeking missile is off-target something like 98 percent of the time and it still hits the target? How cool is that? It has a great self-correction mechanism. That’s what I want you to have too. What word works for you? Okay, use that and set at least 1 and up to 3 (okay, maybe 5 for those of you who just can’t keep it to 3 yet) … which leads me to my next point.
Key #2: Keep it simple – set up to 3 targets, but not more, and set targets that you can’t thinking about.
Many people make the mistake of making too many resolutions and then life happens, they get overwhelmed and they give up. If you set up to 3, but no more, you increase your chances of success. I know it’s tempting for you overachievers to set more … I made that mistake for years, and I did achieve a lot … I also ended up pushing myself way too hard. Reaching some of those targets just didn’t feel good and it wasn’t worth it. (And, I know that some of you won’t take my word for it, and you’ll go for overdoing … believe me, I get it. I’m totally a recovering overdoer and I always have to try it myself … I can’t just take your word for it!)
What we’re exploring here is a way for you to set targets AND to have it feel amazing and surprisingly easy (at times) to reach them. Another secret: set targets that you can’t stop thinking about! It totally inspires being awake and choosing. Set a target sooooo big that you can’t achieve it until you grow into the person that can!
I have 3 fabulous targets I’m aiming towards right now – you already heard about my health target. I’m also targeting the creation of a fabulous new program in my business that has been a dream of mine for years! I’m totally excited and scared by this target which means that I’m oh-so on the right track.
I’m targeting revitalizing my marriage by deeply committing to our relationship coaching process for the next 6 months. As I mentioned before, being in this process is a dream come true that I have been manifesting for over 15 years! You can betcha I’m jazzed to give it my all. When we get into a stupid fight (I’m a fighter … what can I say?), I can lovingly remind myself to get back on target, be humble, own my stuff and apologize … and, oh-so-much more … By keeping it simple and setting up to 3 targets that you can’t stop thinking about, you can easily remember what you’re up to and continue to shift to get back on target when you go off target.
Key #3: Choose feeling words that describe how you will feel when you reach that target and feel those feelings now
This is the best manifestation secret ever! When I reach my body target, I want to feel the following feelings in my body:
I keep these words accessible and read them often. I do whatever I can to bring these feelings into now and, if what I’m doing isn’t aligned with these feeling states, I can choose different actions. What will you feel like when you reach that juicy target that you can’t stop thinking about? Name 5 of them and focus on bringing the feeling states of your future self into now.
How can you bring that feeling into the present moment? When you bring these yearned for feelings into now, you become a vibrational match to the experience you want to create and you become a magnet for things that make the target real. Love it!
Key #4: If you take an action that is out of alignment with your target, don’t judge. Look lovingly at what happened.
When you are trying to shift a behavior or habit, it is oh-so-normal to “fail.” Don’t judge yourself so harshly. Don’t call it failure. See it as learning opportunity. “Failure” gives us the information we need to course correct. Just lovingly observe what happened, as you would with a small child.
For instance, if I started to eat some chocolate and instead of eating a few small squares, I ate half the bar, or even the whole bar, I can call myself a failure … or, I can choose a more loving path. I can observe what I did and be lovingly curious about it and, I can realize that eating that much sugar actually isn’t pleasurable (one of my desired feeling states) because I crash afterwards!
If I waste time doing random stuff in my biz like editing a page on my web site that isn’t urgent to do, I can lovingly look at what I did and notice that I’m prioritizing fear and my comfort zone because I’m afraid to take the next step on that exciting, scary target in my biz and, I can lovingly make a different choice the next time I sit down to work.
It’s all about WHAT you choose and HOW you choose it. Are you choosing it because your Inner Wicked Girl is beating up on you and telling you how awful you are for not doing what you said you’d do? Or, are you being loving and patient with yourself as you learn this new skill? and, are you letting your Inner Wise Woman point out the ways in which you might be letting your fear and desire to be in your comfort zone rule?
Key #5: Now, look at your priorities.
What was my priority in that moment? Pleasure from eating the chocolate bar? The sugar high I wanted? Hmm … was I really present in the moments I ate it? Did I really experience the pleasure fully? Or, did I go unconscious? Was I trying to emotionally soothe myself in that moment? Depending on my answer, the priority I was choosing in that moment becomes clear and I can see what I’m really prioritizing as contrasted with what I say I want to prioritize.
Next time, before I eat the chocolate, I might remember to check in with my priorities and actively choose one as contrasted with going into some old unconscious pattern and unconsciously choosing an old priority from the past. When I chose to work on a random page on my web site instead of setting up a speaking engagement to be in front of my dream clients to share wisdom and my new opportunity with them, I was prioritizing my comfort zone over making my big biz dream come true.
I was avoiding taking the leap of faith and making the jump from where I am to where I want to be. Like the heat-seeking missile, I can check in on my mission and see if my action is aligned with the priorities of my mission. No judgment, just loving self-correction. And, I can go make that call I’m afraid to make.
What about you … what are you prioritizing?
To your epic dream,